In My Elements

So last Friday, my elements were all in place. There I was seated next to not one but two cute babes, in between them to be exact. One had short hair with nice big eyes, pouty lips and brooding look. I don’t know why she wore that look all the time but I am sure it wasn’t me that caused it. Maybe it’s her style. The other had this wet look with her hair, cheeky smile and very in your face type. They were just two extremes from each other. One just gives you the look and doesn’t talk much. The other just couldn't stop talking. She tells you stuff that you sometimes don’t really need to know but she’ll let you have it anyway. Every once a while she’ll give you a friendly jab in your ribs to let you know that she’s still around and I have not fallen asleep with her constant jabbering.

Alright, I’ll admit. My elements weren’t exactly that in place, more like all over the place. I was seated between my buddy’s two kids. The one who doesn’t talk much because she is just one and I think the only word she did utter the whole evening was an uurh. Maybe it was more of a wuurh. I couldn’t really make it out but I think she was trying to tell me to pick up the biscuit she dropped between her baby seat and her dress as she was pointing to it. Maybe she was saying dumbass because I couldn’t really understand her. The other one who is coming five was wearing a wet look because she just finished tearing down the lanes of East Coast Macdonald’s on her shinning red skate scooter with wheels that light up when in motion and matching shinning red safety helmet. She was in my face because she wants to clean her sticky hand filled with ketchup and fillet o’ fish mayo on my cheeks. Lucky for me I was much taller so she had to make do with my pants.

I have this sneaky feeling that every time my buddy arranges a hang out dinner thing, I’m asked to go because they needed a baby sitter. The kids’ entertainer so the parents can get to eat their dinner in peace while I do this peek a boo thing with them. I made a mistake once doing that and it became a repeated act over the next hour. I did the stunned look when one poked me with her tiny finger and it drew shrills of delighted laughter from them. I thought hey that’s not too difficult. Bad judgment call. I had to do that another hundred times over the next hour till my system literally went into shock from all the muscle cramp in my facial expression.

Next Friday I’m making sure I get real babes. Not real babes as in babes because they are really babes but babes as in ladies babes. Arrrrgh. I have to realign my elements.