Number 1 & Counting!

Lately I noticed something has been happening. Something that I have been talking about from the very beginning which is hot chicks paying more attention to me and my hot rod. She is cute. Standing no more than 1.6m tall, long silky hair, slim with legs that’s so smooth and nicely packaged if you know what I mean. Every time I drive into the parking lot under my block when she’s around, she would do a quick check on herself in the reflection of the car she’s standing near and pretend not to notice me. And I would catch her sneaking peaks at me after I parked and intentionally rummage through my dashboard to gather my stuffs which are usually nothing. This sets me up nicely to do my return sneak peaks to see if she is still looking. Nice. Finally, the anti jinx god is doing something about my request. Finally some hot babe is checking me and my bad mobile out.

Here’s the problem. When she is taking sneak peaks, it is usually because her bad ass looking boyfriend of hers is getting something in the car. Hence it gives her an opportunity to look and maybe admire. Ahem. Ok fine. Look. There is one time I noticed she sent him packing to a different parking lot away from her while leaving her standing and the freedom to cast longer looks as I slowly drive off and from my rear mirror I see her standing silently wishing she could do more as we move further apart. Such sadness in her eyes as she seem to want so hard to just say hello. Alright maybe it’s just me who want to say hello but she started it first. Here’s yet another problem, she looks barely past twenty two and for all I know she is looking for a brotherly or worst fatherly figure and I fit the bill perfectly. Wonderful. Perhaps I should have read the whole book on doing something about babes not in your hot rod before I burnt it. I could have missed out the parts where you have to request for the babes to also lust after you and not look upon you as an elder. Jumping the gun sucks.

Anyone knows where I can get the book that helps you break the jinx of babes who just think of you as brotherly or fatherly figure?

Two Scrambled & One Hardboiled.

I just have to write this. It tinkled me and I just couldn’t get the image off my head for a while. So I was turning into a lane from the main road and in my rear mirror I see a dirt bike or what we sometimes called scramblers roaring after my babe. Alright he was not exactly trying to get ahead of my awesomely wonderful bad mobile. What? A little self indulgence wouldn’t kill ok? Anyways, the scrambler screamed past me as it over took followed by another closely behind both tearing up the lane. As they went over a speed hump, the riders looking lean and smart in their dirt kit and snazzy helmets both stood up from their seated position and glided gracefully over it and sat right back down. Almost like Billy Elliot doing his swan lake movements minus the din they created along the way but hey it wouldn’t be the same had it been silent. Dirt bikes are meant to be dirty as they are loud.

Seconds later, I hear another incessantly loud din from another bike coming up behind me and I figured it should be the third scrambler trying to catch up with his friends. What I saw however going past me furiously was an army standard issue gray t shirt glad wrapped around this overweight rider looking like he was on an undersize Yamaha 125cc bike. With his white helmet on, he resembled Humpty Dumpty with a bad haircut trying to balance himself on a kiddy tricycle as he sped up in what looked like an attempt to race with the two dirt bikes. Over the speed bump Humpty went without slowing down and he bounced up and down from his seat as he pushed his machine on at maniac speed. He looked really silly and to be honest pretty sad. It is like some awkward kid who badly wants to be one of the cool guys but is always going to finish second best.

Thank you Humpty for cracking me up, pun totally intended, and I hoped you didn’t require all the Kings horses and all the Kings men to put you back together again. You are a Hoot Dude!