A Very Short Kobe Affair.

She was beautifully curved, skin as white as porcelain china with a warm personality and fantastic abilities to please you. Who would have thought I would meet one as unforgettable as her. At every opportunity when I wasn't working, I spent it with her. It was the most beautiful five days of my life.

When we touched down in Kobe six nights ago, I was tired and in an irritable mood having endured through a rough six hour flight and another hour and a half ride to the hotel. It was a pretty new hotel having never stayed there before, The B Kobe. Nice reception with modern touch to it. The receptionists, save for the manager were all wearing cool smart outfits. The guys were decked in suits and red polo and the ladies in a simple grey cotton tees and pants. Got our card access to our rooms, checked in and there she was. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I have been to Kobe a couple of times but never had I met one as classy and sophisticated as she.

It’s a super upgrade version I tell you. There are so many functions available it’s fantastic. I am talking about the greatest toilet bowl ever made. EVER! Click a button on a device mounted on the wall, the seat cover lifted. Pending on the business order of the day, you can select big or small flush. Of course these are just the basic stuff you find in most hotels in Japan I assume. But there’s more! When you sit on it, it’s heated to ensure your cold butt is in heaven. When you are done negotiating your tough business deal, you need to clean up the mess and here’s where it goes right up a notch to awesome. Pending on how you like it, straight no nonsense approach or the softer spread out touch, you choose your preference. Personally, the straight no nonsense is a little too in your face, well in this case ass, I prefer the softer approach to things. If the angle is not really right, you can push another button to adjust them to meet your needs.

Of course there are days when foul play is involved and you need something to clear the air. Click on this other button and a vacuum appears and sucks out all the air around your ass. I am guessing it’s a vacuum because you can’t really see with your butt seated while the action is all happening below it but it sounds like a vacuum alright. So after the washing up, there’s nothing like a dripping wet ass to gross you out. What do you do? Easy, press the ass dryer button. I kid you not. It blows out air to dry the offending area! I cannot describe my joy any more than to say you got to try one yourself.

Heartbreaking was the word when you have to leave one as wonderful as her behind. But I guess as they say it, its better to have loved than never experienced it before. For now it will be just sweet memories as I sit on my home throne version 1.01 reminiscing how great 3.01 was. I will be back my Kobe beloved.

Wild dogs and hot pants.

So I was at the latest IT show with a date, hey she wanted to grab something for herself though I kind of wish it was me, and I have to say you see the craziest people there. We were coming up to this two oldish dudes in typical outfits, checker shirts tucked out with waist pouches around their but of course waist, and one of them was profusely apologizing to a couple facing them.

One of the dude was trying to play mediator in his best English ‘He orledy say solly already. Ok? Solly ok. Solly ah.’ The guy they were apologizing to was pretty brutish. Built like a Mastiff with a face all mothers will reject, baseball cap, heavy frame glasses to probably cover his lack of charm. On his blind side was his Chiwawa girlfriend and she didn’t look any better. He probably didn’t know if he should accept the guys’ apologies or bite them so in the end for good measures, he gave the mediator a hard shove on his shoulder. I guess he was waiting for a retaliative push so he could rip the old fogies apart and pass his gal a bone to gnaw on. The guys figured a shove is better than getting rabies and they moved on after that episode.

Oh come on! It’s the IT show. Tens of thousands throng the place hunting for bargain of the season. You are bound to unintentionally bump into others and sometimes jab them with your purchases. Hey I got my foot run over by some guy pulling his printer on a trolley. You don’t see me sinking my teeth into his ankles in retaliation. Grow up man.

IT shows are the best place to check chicks out and I am not referring to the consumers. I am talking about the salesgirls! God! You should have seen the outfits some of them are decked in. Mini hot pants that showed a good portion of cracks from the top and cheeks from the bottom. Nice. If you are at that, might as well not wear anything. Come to think of it, all new product entrants to the show should always hire chicks that barely wear anything. You are definitely going to get a lot of eyeballs and not to mention raise awareness. If they keep bringing these chicks in, I am not going to bring a date there the next time!