Chicks! TONS of 'em!

Chicks! TONS of chicks! They are all pilling up in my wheels crammed up front seat and back. All shapes and sizes. Man I take what I said back about burning the spell breaker book. It’s AWESOME! Like an almost daily affair, I have ladies waiting to hop in just as I had envisaged. Well almost. You see they are the ladies in my office. Some call them colleagues. I’ll call them chicks for now. Ok so I kinda exaggerated the whole TONS of chicks bit. But they are of the fairer sex and they are not dudes. So chicks they are! Technically, the chains that bound the doors of my hot rod with its no babes jinx are now broken. Smashed into bits with the Excalibur of Sir Arthur. I mean as long as there are women waiting for me after a long day at work to hop in, it’s the same as chicks fighting for the right to get in.

Alright, I admit. They are waiting for me because they don’t want to make the long walk out of the office building. They are fighting to be the first in the queue because there’s only this number of seats available. Once they are taken up, you walk. Suddenly, I am really popular amongst the ladies in the office. ‘Hey buddy, so nice to see you back in the office.’ One coos. Sure where do you want me to drop you later? Hey until the real chicks show up, I’ll take anything that comes at this point in time. Ok I’ve got self esteem issues. Sue me. It’s chicks galore as far as I am concern at the moment.

I am glad I burnt the damn book.

First Chick

She said it’s really nice, great space and very comfortable seats. Marveled at the shape and its solidly built body. How smooth the ride is and that continentals are really different. See I told you so. I knew that it’s going to be a great investment and how ladies will think its cool too. Thanks mom! I knew you would say it’s a great buy too. Oh shut it. So the first chick that hopped into my wheels impressed is someone I know very well. So she’s my mom. Say anything rude and I’m coming round to kick your butt. And no ride in my bad mobile for you! And it’s not cheating.

I needed someone to break the chain you know what I mean? Its like once the spell is broken, the good things follow. So according to the book on ‘ To break the spell of no babes in your wheels yet. ‘ I needed someone to hop in admiring it that’s not a dude. So in comes good old mom. Sorry I didn’t mean to infer you are old mom. It’s just a phrase. Ok! Ok! I’ll change it. In comes Great Loving Mom. Happy?

So officially after conducting the spell breaking ritual, the flood gates will now be open. Soon the chicks will be banging down the door begging to come in. I’m sure any moment now they will ask if they can get a ride in this beautifully crafted machine. Any minute now it’s going to pour women down from the sky like the song. ‘cept that she’s singing It’s Raining Men. But you get the picture. Any time now. I am waiting. Ok maybe tomorrow. Or maybe the day after. Maybe the spell breaking ritual has to reach the spell god and he’s got his hands full with requests to overturn jinxs. Who am I kidding. I am going to burn the damn book.

Out Of Control

Ok, I am out of control. I need help. While this has absolutely nothing to do with my newly acquired set of wheels, maybe it has in a small way extended to my actions. What I have insanely done was to splurge a big sum of money on a pair of corrective eyewear. What was I thinking??!! Just because I have a continental branded vehicle it doesn’t mean I need to have a corresponding European brand eyewear? Ok so they aren’t exactly related, wheels and eyewear, which makes my buy look even less intelligent.

It was torturous, the battle between the devious cookie monster and the angelical one each ranting their opinions into my ears. I was breaking down. Fast.

Devious Cookie : ‘ Behold how sleek and well crafted this very expensive eyewear look. ‘

Angel Cookie : ‘ Look away from what evil tries to seduce you with. How about this nice looking house brand frame? Economical and nice. ‘

Devious Cookie : Snots. ‘ It looks like its gonna give way any moment. Imagine how dangerous it will be for you on the road. What about the other road users when it gives way and leaves you blind! If not for yourself, think about others! ‘

Angel Cookie : Mocked horrified look. ‘ Wonderful change of tactics. It’s not like this house brand eye wear is made of straws you know. Would you actually see better with a more expensive one? Of course not! You are already half blind to begin with. Those are not going to make your eye sight recover you know. So what’s the point of paying more? ‘

Devious Cookie : ‘ Pay no attention to the less informed. Look let me break it down to you. Can you afford it? Sure you can. Do you feel better when you look better? Of course you do. Check this magical figure out. I can make it all go away. Take this number and divide by the number of years you will be wearing it for. Say 30 months. Ah….now doesn’t it look too affordable? Break it down by another 30 days. TADA! How does it look now? ‘

Angel Cookie : Sulks in a corner.

I have to say, the bad one does have a point here. A very big point. Out came the plastic. Signed and ready to collect in 10 days. Besides the cute optometrist serving me does look impressed. Maybe if the wheels don’t bring me the promised land of babes. This might. I have been told my eyes are beautiful. Ok this might just work out to be a better investment. It better.

I am starting to doubt my decision making process.

Check me out!

So I've been driving this baby for the past 7 days. Its a joy to say the least. Smooth on the road, awesomely light steering and the luminated dials when the lights are turned on. Hell they even illuminate the auto window switches! Sound system is unbelieveable for a factory fitted. Guess somethings are really different with continental. Pet Shop Boys do play better in it. Ok so I like retro. Shoot me.

Caught a couple of people checking out my wheels in the parking lot a few times. Peer in, walk 5 steps back, review it at that distance. Walk towards it again and go around the body from front to back. I hope they are just admiring and not looking to break in and drive off! Now I just need the chicks to start doing the hmmmm...nice set of wheels bit. So far its just dudes. It will happen. Soon. I hope. Please?

In Conversation...

Friend : ‘ Duuuuuuuuuude, I heard you got yourself a set of new wheels. ‘

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Yeah man. It’s got shit load of room space for stretching man. No economy class syndrome. ‘

Friend : ‘ Coooooool. What make and colour is it? ‘

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Its continental and its in sexy black man. It’s got all these cool gadgets and check out this remote with a bling logo key chain. ‘

Friend : ‘ Awesome. You the man! ‘

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Nope. I am the Bad Man who’s gonna get babes to sit in my ride. Hooo yeah. ‘

Friend : ‘ Can I sit in your ride? ‘

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Dude, I said BABES. ‘

Friend : ‘ You ARE a BAD MAN. ‘

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Focus man. I already told you I am the Bad Man. Don’t have to repeat what I already know. ‘

Friend : ‘ Boohoo hooooo ‘ Runs away.

Bad Cookie Monster : ‘ Fairy. ‘

My Bad Mobile

Its finally here. My bad mobile. I've been talking about it for months and how chicks are going to love my continental vehicle. Chicks dig all things continental right? I mean look at the girls flocking to the western bodies. They are so going to love my wheels. Its going to be the bad ass kinda mobile that I envisage. I even got slick lines all thought up , albeit modified movie lines, but heck if they have gone on to become blockbusters I am sure they are worth something. ' To the bad mobile ', ' wanna check out my bad cave? ' or ' you like my bad suit? ' All right so the last two didn't quite make it to the movie dialogue but it doesn't mean I cant make up my own.

So it is. I drive a continental vehicle. Its got great rims, strong suspension, decent sound system with acoustic surrounding and loads of make out space. I am sure its all going to pan out the way I dream its going to be like. Yeah 7 days a week. 7 days worth of babes. Its so going to rock my world.

Picture myself cruising down the highway in my solidly build babe killing machine blasting my stereos to the tune of Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back. Ladies will turn their head and marvel how gorgeous the black bad ass mobile look. Content inside is not important at this moment. Its the body they always check out first. Yeah baby. Head slightly turned, I give them a knowing nod and turn my attention away from them. Its how the game is played. Hard to get. They want you even more when they cant get all your attention. Now they WILL all want to clamour, beat, scratch their opponents in the bid to be the first in the front seat. There's only one ticket and they will get dirty to be THE ONE. Oh I am totally going to enjoy this. Ding Ding. Round one.