Flag Day

So today my colleague who’s seated next to me walked back from the ladies and announced to me “I’m Bleeding!!!” Under normal circumstances when I hear something like that I would either a) pass out cold, b) call for an ambulance, c) call for an ambulance and pass out cold or d) call for two ambulances, one for her and the other for me and then pass out cold. In her case, I know that she always never mean what regular people would understand from a statement like “I’m bleeding”. It’s only her time of the months’ non fatal lost of blood. But having said that it also means sounding the air raid warning sirens and scrambling for any cover you can find. Save yourself for the love of god! It’s D Day! Stay away from a non fatal bleeding woman or you could be the one who is bleeding fatally.

I mean how do you know if a girl is just in her regular cycle and not plain crazy? Unless you are her boyfriend, husband, lover, you never really keep track of the dates. Then again even if you do watch the dates, you could have remembered it wrongly and end up being congratulated for being a newbie parent. Of course there are times you are just lucky to be seated next to one who is kind enough to give you a head start or you may innocently walk into a mine field.

How do you really know if it’s safe or it’s time to fly low and stay low? I have an idea. Create a mini flag pole with 3 different colored flags, a Yellow flag, a Red flag and a Green flag. When she raises a Yellow flag, it signals an impending air raid but you are still free to roam around, just always stay close to cover. A hoisted Red flag signifies a nuclear holocaust. Godzilla has been awaken and risen from the deep sea tearing any brave, well dumb would be a more appropriate word in this instance, man apart should he stand in her way. A Green flag is everyone’s favorite. The guy’s favorite anyway. It’s the all clear sign that you are able to skip about carefree. You can even venture a couple of teasers and you won’t get your eyes stomped out with a stiletto. You may actually earn a giggle from her or even win the first prize – some happy time.

For the sake of all dumb mankind’s subsistence and preventing us from being consign to extinction will someone please build this flag pole. If it doesn’t work, then maybe some lucky ones may get a pole dance by his lady on a green flag day. Providing he can still see with the stilettos sticking in his eyeballs.