A Bold Business Idea 101

I have a thought. A business idea actually and I think it will be such a hit. Pardon my pun as you will understand later why I say that. How’s this for a brilliant if not money spinning business concept. Retail shop and get ready for this……for warring gangsters! Tada! Ka Ching! Picture this. Shop inside has all the equipment you need to create some serious hurting on your enemy. There’s the slick Bruce Lee Nunchaku which comes with the complete stance suggestions for a competent fearsome warrior look. For the beginner or low end budget user you can buy the basic model that’s just two wooden ends held by a toggle rope. Those with a couple more bucks to spend or just plain showy can opt for the platinum version customised with Swarovsky crystals embedded on the ends. Ladies love guys with the blings.

Then there is ever Ninja favorite, the 5 Blade Dragon’s Fury throwing dart. Not for the amateurs. As name suggests, it is full of fury when you throw one of these 5 blade Dragon crested weapon. It folds out into a star formation and if held wrongly as you hurl it, you will not only be hurling it at your opponent but also hurling abuses of pain as you would have probably cut an artery in your hand. Hence the name fury I guess. Fury of pain for your intended target and the not so intended.

On the further side of the wall hangs the Chinese 9 Ring Boardsword which makes a lot of noise as you swing it about attempting to scare the other guys in the opposite turf. It’s non cutting edges are punched with enlarge rings that ladies love to dangle on their ear loobs except these are a lot thicker and makes these clanging noises as your whirl it about which you hope will make the enemy deaf. We’ll throw in a pair of ear plugs when you buy this killer weapon. After all the whole point is to hurt the other guy not yourself.

Inspired probably by movie director Zhang Yi Mou’s Curse of the Golden Flower with palace serving ladies with E cup size tops, we introduce these huge golden melons which comprises of a stick handle with well, melon like shaped top. Perfect for bludgeoning your opponent into flat heads or just using it as a stool when you get tired carrying these unbalanced gravity sucking weapon through the day as you hunt down your nemesis.

For those ridiculously low on budget or just don’t have the time to really think what weapon to bring ‘cos you got a text saying you are mobilized immediately for a street fight, we give you this no frills priced to kill, pun totally intended, practical weapon. The all time favorite empty beer bottle. Hurts really bad when you clubbed it over the other guy’s head and when done properly, it gives more than just a bad overnight headache. After breaking its bottom, the bottle’s bottom, you can proceed to use it and shred the enemy’s shirt into pieces with its uneven jagged ends. Kills him especially if he’s dumb enough to be wearing his Armani shirt or because like you, just didn’t have time to go home and change first.

Throw in fifty cents more, we will break the bottom for you if you are a real amateur and don’t want to end up hurting yourself before you do serious damage to others. You don’t want to ruin your image as a fearsome gangland street fighter who cuts his fingers in his first attempt to break the bottle and run home crying to mommy. Now that will end your chances of ever being a gangster. Might as well try out for the cheerleading squad after that. Heck it may probably turn out better and you get to hold some chicks butt without getting slap in the face!