Road Diarrhoea!

Ok enough deviation from my original intention of this blog which is supposed to be all about my baby and me. Ok mostly me. No more horror kiddy stories. Have you ever had one of those days when you have a reaaaaaaaally big need to go? And by go I mean you are like seemingly miles away from the nearest public rest room and you feel another big one coming right out of your ass. Yeah the big dreaded diarrhoea. They sneak up on you when you least expected and then KAPAO! It’s out of control. Kinda like IBS – Irritable Bowel Syndrome. But of course this post isn’t about that either.

What got me on this was I was cruising down the freeway just the other day with my newly washed and waxed sweetheart and man there was this trail of mud droppings on the road with lumps of it every mile followed by utter mess. Seems to me like some truck had a little too much hot spicy chicken! It went on for like ten miles and it was horrifying trying to avoid it. Of course the inevitable happened. Gushes of wind and some peals of rain later, I got myself a crap mobile. It was like some idiot thought its funny throwing a diaper full of wet baby crap at you. How enchanting and it’s got to happen after I washed my bad mobile.

This reminds me of a story when I was a trainee in the military. A fellow trainee had a bad case of runs in the wee hours of the morning which is fine except that it sprung such a surprise on him that he couldn’t react fast enough to get out of bed and into the wash room. And as if that’s not bad enough, some trainees had by then developed a habit of laying their mattress on the floor at night to sleep and he had to maneuver his way around them and probably over them as he did his obstacle course and the ten meters mad dash.

I am pretty certain at least two of them slept with their mouths wide opened. Tantalizing thought. By dawn, sets of awakening sleepy heads were beginning to realize there is a brown trail on the floor which did a series of curious ballroom steps of twists and turns around beds and over a couple of low lying mattresses, into the bath area before trekking back to the main area of business. I remember distinctly also a couple of guys doing a major half hour long of teeth brushing and massive mouth wash gurgling.

Oh and they moved their mattresses back to bed that night.